9 posts
Canada
Posted 10 March 2015 - 12:00 AM
so i was telling my family about codes that make menu menus then my grandma asks "Whats on those menus?" i replied "oh…Byte sized portions"
This is a read-only snapshot of the ComputerCraft forums,
taken in April 2020.
Computing Jokes
Started by :-), 09 March 2015 - 11:00 PM
1029 posts
Missouri, United States, America, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way, Universe 42B, Life Street, Multiverse, 4th Dimension
Posted 10 March 2015 - 12:10 AM
I've got 5 bytes of cookies.
Edited on 09 March 2015 - 11:10 PM
2427 posts
UK
Posted 10 March 2015 - 02:51 PM
01000011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101111 01101011 01101001 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 01101111 00111111
http://www.binaryhexconverter.com/binary-to-ascii-text-converter
Edited on 10 March 2015 - 01:51 PM
1029 posts
Missouri, United States, America, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way, Universe 42B, Life Street, Multiverse, 4th Dimension
Posted 13 March 2015 - 11:18 PM
Edited on 16 March 2015 - 08:23 PM
1610 posts
Posted 18 March 2015 - 03:05 PM
What about a megabit?
1715 posts
ACDC Town
Posted 18 March 2015 - 04:55 PM
JOKE 1:
'god' is real unless declared integer
JOKE 2:
Person 1: My Atari ST works wonders!
Person 2: I got a Commodore.
Person 1: Why, what's wrong with Atari?
Person 2: Mine is covered in blitter.
JOKE 3:
Person 1: I made a time machine!
Person 2: Cool, let me see!
Person 1: *presses button*
Machine:
'god' is real unless declared integer
JOKE 2:
Person 1: My Atari ST works wonders!
Person 2: I got a Commodore.
Person 1: Why, what's wrong with Atari?
Person 2: Mine is covered in blitter.
JOKE 3:
Person 1: I made a time machine!
Person 2: Cool, let me see!
Person 1: *presses button*
Machine:
001100
010010
011110
100001
101101
110011Edited on 18 March 2015 - 04:03 PM
546 posts
Wageningen, The Netherlands
Posted 18 March 2015 - 05:01 PM
Why do programmers confuse halloween with christmas?
Because oct 31 = dec 25
Because oct 31 = dec 25
132 posts
Florida, USA
Posted 18 March 2015 - 05:53 PM
There is no place like 127.0.0.1
There is only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
There is only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
1426 posts
Does anyone put something serious here?
Posted 18 March 2015 - 06:16 PM
There is only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who know binary, those who don't and those who weren't expecting a joke in base 3.
Also more maths jokes:
Why can't you differentiate a biologist? Because they have no function.
Edited on 18 March 2015 - 05:16 PM
1852 posts
Sweden
Posted 19 March 2015 - 05:34 PM
Why does all Java programmers wear glasses? Because they can't C#.
132 posts
Florida, USA
Posted 20 March 2015 - 02:22 AM
I've always heard that one just plain C. And I am a java developer, I don't wear glasses, and I do C and C# :D/>Why does all Java programmers wear glasses? Because they can't C#.
Also your signature is a good joke.,
Edited on 20 March 2015 - 01:22 AM
1029 posts
Missouri, United States, America, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way, Universe 42B, Life Street, Multiverse, 4th Dimension
Posted 21 March 2015 - 12:38 AM
Why did the programmer always fail his classes?
He programmed in C
(which, is not technically failing, but it is in my book)
Where do Java programmers go to program?
The coffee shop. They enjoy their creations.
He programmed in C
(which, is not technically failing, but it is in my book)
Where do Java programmers go to program?
The coffee shop. They enjoy their creations.
283 posts
Posted 21 March 2015 - 01:00 AM
boss: you have to get the program done in 3 days!
worker: my mySQL isn't working!
boss: then use someone else's SQL ;p
https://s-media-cach...4c7af42c13f.jpg
"chuck norris doesn't write code. he stares at the computer until he gets what he wants"
"why did the programmer quit the job? because, he didn't get arrays"
"programmer [pro-graham-er] a person that turns pizza and caffine into software"
man1: echo $var
man2: you can only echo in the bathroom!
worker: my mySQL isn't working!
boss: then use someone else's SQL ;p
https://s-media-cach...4c7af42c13f.jpg
"chuck norris doesn't write code. he stares at the computer until he gets what he wants"
"why did the programmer quit the job? because, he didn't get arrays"
"programmer [pro-graham-er] a person that turns pizza and caffine into software"
man1: echo $var
man2: you can only echo in the bathroom!
Edited on 21 March 2015 - 12:30 AM
546 posts
Wageningen, The Netherlands
Posted 21 March 2015 - 04:53 PM
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java."
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java."
Edited on 21 March 2015 - 03:53 PM
673 posts
Posted 21 March 2015 - 07:37 PM
['hip','hip'] (hip hip array!)
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem.
A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says "Hello World!"
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem.
A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says "Hello World!"
Edited on 21 March 2015 - 06:42 PM
1029 posts
Missouri, United States, America, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way, Universe 42B, Life Street, Multiverse, 4th Dimension
Posted 21 March 2015 - 08:50 PM
Turning-Complete? Well, it's almost done!
1715 posts
ACDC Town
Posted 11 October 2015 - 02:05 AM
Why can't Alex Turing watch Fox News?
DEAD!
Spoiler
Because he'sDEAD!
Edited on 11 October 2015 - 12:05 AM
1715 posts
ACDC Town
Posted 11 October 2015 - 02:25 AM
Why was the ant-farm simulator abandoned?
Lack of active coders, tiny user base, and the developers would have to port it from PASCAL for it to work on modern platforms.
Lack of active coders, tiny user base, and the developers would have to port it from PASCAL for it to work on modern platforms.
818 posts
Wherever you want me to be
Posted 11 October 2015 - 04:59 AM
i looked on my lawn one time, it looked a little broken.
turns out, it just had a few bugs.
turns out, it just had a few bugs.
1583 posts
Germany
Posted 11 October 2015 - 05:00 AM
Q: What is the object oriented way of getting wealthy?
A: Inheritance.
A: Inheritance.
Edited on 11 October 2015 - 03:04 AM
818 posts
Wherever you want me to be
Posted 11 October 2015 - 05:06 AM
that's already been said in a signature.
1852 posts
Sweden
Posted 11 October 2015 - 12:40 PM
Q: What is the object oriented way of getting wealthy?
A: Inheritance.
Indeed it has :P/>that's already been said in a signature.
1583 posts
Germany
Posted 11 October 2015 - 01:23 PM
I'm pretty sure it once was mine :D/>that's already been said in a signature.
77 posts
United Kingdom, Earth
Posted 11 October 2015 - 06:44 PM
The start menu. So innovative, Microsoft invented it twice
1426 posts
Does anyone put something serious here?
Posted 11 October 2015 - 07:00 PM
Not really a joke, but amusing Javascript nevertheless (try it in dev tools)
From this wonderful talk.
Array(16).join("wat" - 1) + " batman!"
From this wonderful talk.
77 posts
United Kingdom, Earth
Posted 11 October 2015 - 07:02 PM
Not really a joke
It still made me laugh anyway XD
212 posts
Somewhere in this dimension... I think.
Posted 11 October 2015 - 07:13 PM
+6Not really a joke, but amusing Javascript nevertheless (try it in dev tools)Array(16).join("wat" - 1) + " batman!"
From this wonderful talk.
756 posts
Posted 11 October 2015 - 08:31 PM
To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.
212 posts
Somewhere in this dimension... I think.
Posted 11 October 2015 - 08:47 PM
java.lang.ArrayIndexOutOfBoundsException: 256To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.
Probably should have return understandRecursion()
Edited on 11 October 2015 - 06:48 PM
1426 posts
Does anyone put something serious here?
Posted 11 October 2015 - 09:02 PM
java.lang.ArrayIndexOutOfBoundsException: 256To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.
Probably should have return understandRecursion()
I was about to comment on the fact that you'd get a stack overflow error, and tail calls were not implemented on the JVM, then realised you were talking about Lua :)/>.
However, on the subject of recursion: Google is a good place to start (see the did you mean bit)
1583 posts
Germany
Posted 11 October 2015 - 09:20 PM
Q: how many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: none, they just make darkness a standard and tell everyone “this behavior is by design”
A: none, they just make darkness a standard and tell everyone “this behavior is by design”
212 posts
Somewhere in this dimension... I think.
Posted 11 October 2015 - 09:29 PM
H4X0RZ I understood most of that last comic but Latex is nil to me and your calling it a joke.
1583 posts
Germany
Posted 11 October 2015 - 09:35 PM
H4X0RZ I understood most of that last comic but Latex is nil to me and your calling it a joke.
IIRC latex is used to "design" scientific papers. For example a formula and that stuff.
Also, command line Russian Roulette:
[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo *Click*
Edited on 11 October 2015 - 07:37 PM
212 posts
Somewhere in this dimension... I think.
Posted 11 October 2015 - 09:44 PM
I suspect you got a 404 on my joke?
Edited on 11 October 2015 - 07:45 PM
1583 posts
Germany
Posted 11 October 2015 - 09:48 PM
I suspect you got a 404 on my joke?
Possible xD
//On-topic
Q: Why don't jokes work in octal?
A: Because 7 10 11.
756 posts
Posted 11 October 2015 - 09:58 PM
I would tell you guys a UDP joke, but you might not get it.
212 posts
Somewhere in this dimension... I think.
Posted 11 October 2015 - 10:01 PM
There is enough order in these forums to use TCP.
77 posts
United Kingdom, Earth
Posted 11 October 2015 - 10:02 PM
Also, command line Russian Roulette:[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo *Click*
Don't forget sudo
756 posts
Posted 11 October 2015 - 10:03 PM
The great thing about TLS jokes is that you can tell if it’s not original.
1583 posts
Germany
Posted 11 October 2015 - 10:06 PM
The first poem written for computers
<>!*''#
^"`$$-
!*=@$_
%*<>~4
&[]&#46;&#46;/
|{,,SYSTEM HALTED
For those who don't understand
Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash,
Bang splat equal at dollar under-score,
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four,
Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH
Edited on 11 October 2015 - 08:06 PM
212 posts
Somewhere in this dimension... I think.
Posted 11 October 2015 - 10:06 PM
It may be redundant, but I cycled through and checked each joke for errors.
212 posts
Somewhere in this dimension... I think.
Posted 11 October 2015 - 10:14 PM
These jokes are bad.
I am going to go command > /dev/sda now.
I am going to go command > /dev/sda now.
1583 posts
Germany
Posted 11 October 2015 - 10:19 PM
Richard Stallman, Linus Torvalds, and Donald Knuth engage in a discussion on whose impact on computer science was the greatest.
Stallman: "God told me I have programmed the best editor in the world!"
Torvalds: "Well, God told me that I have programmed the best operating system in the world!"
Knuth: "Wait, wait, I never said that."
Stallman: "God told me I have programmed the best editor in the world!"
Torvalds: "Well, God told me that I have programmed the best operating system in the world!"
Knuth: "Wait, wait, I never said that."
212 posts
Somewhere in this dimension... I think.
Posted 11 October 2015 - 10:25 PM
Atleast he knew how to weaponize forks.
224 posts
Posted 12 October 2015 - 02:52 AM
sql> DELETE FROM world.human_race WHERE iq < 100
Query OK, 3.45 billion rows affected (0.01 sec)···
Optimist : The glass is half full.
Pessimist : The glass is half empty.
Programmer: The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
{cake => "chocolate"} //hash cake
Query OK, 3.45 billion rows affected (0.01 sec)···
Optimist : The glass is half full.
Pessimist : The glass is half empty.
Programmer: The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
{cake => "chocolate"} //hash cake
Edited on 12 October 2015 - 12:55 AM
429 posts
Posted 12 October 2015 - 04:12 PM
H4X0RZ I understood most of that last comic but Latex is nil to me and your calling it a joke.
IIRC latex is used to "design" scientific papers. For example a formula and that stuff.
Also, command line Russian Roulette:[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo *Click*
That won't work on GNU/Linux systems because GNU rm refuses to remove /.
GNU EMACS: Generally Not Used, Except by Middle-Aged Computer Scientists.
212 posts
Somewhere in this dimension... I think.
Posted 12 October 2015 - 08:16 PM
Chrome is a nice browser.
It just needs memory managment.
Maybe return "RAM" a little?
Okay that joke was bad.
I will go break; now.
It just needs memory managment.
Maybe return "RAM" a little?
Okay that joke was bad.
I will go break; now.
212 posts
Somewhere in this dimension... I think.
Posted 12 October 2015 - 08:31 PM
We require("PHP jokes")
Also
Also
429 posts
Posted 12 October 2015 - 09:09 PM
These jokes are so bad they make me want to kill -9 0
1583 posts
Germany
Posted 12 October 2015 - 09:29 PM
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Versace tie, gets out and asks the Shepherd:
Man: “If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?”
The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies:
Shepherd: “Okay.”
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says,
Man: “You have exactly 1,586 sheep here.”
The shepherd cheers,
Shepherd: “That’s correct, you can have your sheep.”
The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks,
Shepherd: “If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?”
The young man answers;
Man: “Yes, why not?”
Shepherd: "You are an IT consultant."
Man: “How did you know?”
Shepherd: “Very simple. First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don’t understand anything about my business…Now can I have my DOG back?"
Man: “If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?”
The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies:
Shepherd: “Okay.”
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says,
Man: “You have exactly 1,586 sheep here.”
The shepherd cheers,
Shepherd: “That’s correct, you can have your sheep.”
The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks,
Shepherd: “If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?”
The young man answers;
Man: “Yes, why not?”
Shepherd: "You are an IT consultant."
Man: “How did you know?”
Shepherd: “Very simple. First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don’t understand anything about my business…Now can I have my DOG back?"
212 posts
Somewhere in this dimension... I think.
Posted 13 October 2015 - 08:13 PM
bios:155: Too long without joking
1583 posts
Germany
Posted 13 October 2015 - 11:49 PM
Top 10 things likely to be overheard from a Klingon Programmer
- Specifications are for the weak and timid!
- You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
- Indentation? I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
- What is this talk of release? Klingons do not release software. Our software escapes leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
- Klingon function calls do not have parameters - they have arguments - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
- Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
- A True Klingon Warrior does not comment on his code!
- Klingon software does not have BUGS. It has FEATURES, and those features are too sophisticated for a Romulan pig like you to understand.
- You cannot truly appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.
- Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
1715 posts
ACDC Town
Posted 14 October 2015 - 01:40 AM
1583 posts
Germany
Posted 14 October 2015 - 01:54 PM
Oh, never knew that this is the original source. I found the top10 in stackexchange. Sorry for that, I guess xD-snip-
Heeeeyyy…
818 posts
Wherever you want me to be
Posted 15 October 2015 - 10:02 AM
hey… LDDestroier never said that!Oh, never knew that this is the original source. I found the top10 in stackexchange. Sorry for that, I guess xD-snip-
Heeeeyyy…
[right]:P/>[/right]
149 posts
The dark depths of the web
Posted 16 October 2015 - 05:31 AM
Spoiler
+++++ ++++[ ->+++ +++++ +<]>+ +++++ ++.<+ +++[- >++++ <]>++ ++++. +++++
+.--- .<+++ +++++ +[->- ----- ---<] >-.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++ +++<] >++++
+++++ ++++. ++.++ +++.< +++[- >---< ]>--- .---. <+++[ ->+++ <]>++ ++.<+
+++++ +++[- >---- ----- <]>-. <++++ ++++[ ->+++ +++++ <]>++ +++++ ++.<+
++[-> +++<] >+.<+ +++++ +++[- >---- ----- <]>-- .<+++ +++++ +[->+ +++++
+++<] >++.- ---.< +++++ +++[- >---- ----< ]>--- ----- ----- --.<+ +++++
++[-> +++++ +++<] >++++ ++.-- ---.< ++++[ ->+++ +<]>+ ++.<+ +++++ +++[-
>---- ----- <]>-- -.<++ +++++ ++[-> +++++ ++++< ]>+++ .<+++ [->-- -<]>-
--.-- -.<++ +++++ +[->- ----- --<]> ----- .<+++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ +++<]
>+.<+ ++[-> ---<] >---- .--.< ++++[ ->+++ +<]>+ +.--- .+.<+ ++[-> ---<]
>-.<+ ++[-> +++<] >++++ .<+++ +[->- ---<] >-.<+ +++++ ++[-> ----- ---<]
>---- -.<++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ ++<]> +++++ +.<++ +[->+ ++<]> +++++ +.---
----. <+++[ ->--- <]>-- .<+++ +[->+ +++<] >+.<+ ++[-> ---<] >--.+ +++++
.-.<+ +++++ ++[-> ----- ---<] >---- ----- ----- .<+++ +++++ [->++ +++++
+<]>+ ++.<+ ++[-> +++<] >+++. --.++ +.+++ ++.-. <+++[ ->--- <]>-- .++++
+.--- ----. <++++ ++++[ ->--- ----- <]>-- ----- .<+++ +++++ [->++ +++++
+<]>+ +++++ ++.-- -.<++ +[->+ ++<]> ++++. <++++ +++++ [->-- ----- --<]>
-.<++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ ++<]> +++++ +++++ +++.< +++[- >---< ]>--- .<+++
+[->+ +++<] >++.. <++++ +++++ [->-- ----- --<]> --.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++
+++<] >+++. --.<+ +++[- >++++ <]>++ ++.-- .<+++ [->-- -<]>- ----. <+++[
->+++ <]>++ +++.< +++++ ++++[ ->--- ----- -<]>- -.<++ +++++ +[->+ +++++
++<]> +.<++ +++++ +[->- ----- --<]> -.<++ +++++ ++[-> +++++ ++++< ]>++.
+.<++ ++[-> ----< ]>--- .++.+ +++++ ++.<+ +++++ ++[-> ----- ---<] >----
----- --.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++ +++<] >++++ +++++ +++++ +.+++ ++++. <++++
[->-- --<]> -.<++ +[->+ ++<]> ++++. <+++[ ->--- <]>-- -.+++ +++.+ ++.++
+++++ +.<
EDIT: Since someone figured it out now, here's a decoder.
Edited on 16 October 2015 - 12:48 PM
818 posts
Wherever you want me to be
Posted 16 October 2015 - 07:58 AM
2confusing4meSpoiler
+++++ ++++[ ->+++ +++++ +<]>+ +++++ ++.<+ +++[- >++++ <]>++ ++++. +++++ +.--- .<+++ +++++ +[->- ----- ---<] >-.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++ +++<] >++++ +++++ ++++. ++.++ +++.< +++[- >---< ]>--- .---. <+++[ ->+++ <]>++ ++.<+ +++++ +++[- >---- ----- <]>-. <++++ ++++[ ->+++ +++++ <]>++ +++++ ++.<+ ++[-> +++<] >+.<+ +++++ +++[- >---- ----- <]>-- .<+++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ +++<] >++.- ---.< +++++ +++[- >---- ----< ]>--- ----- ----- --.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++ +++<] >++++ ++.-- ---.< ++++[ ->+++ +<]>+ ++.<+ +++++ +++[- >---- ----- <]>-- -.<++ +++++ ++[-> +++++ ++++< ]>+++ .<+++ [->-- -<]>- --.-- -.<++ +++++ +[->- ----- --<]> ----- .<+++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ +++<] >+.<+ ++[-> ---<] >---- .--.< ++++[ ->+++ +<]>+ +.--- .+.<+ ++[-> ---<] >-.<+ ++[-> +++<] >++++ .<+++ +[->- ---<] >-.<+ +++++ ++[-> ----- ---<] >---- -.<++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ ++<]> +++++ +.<++ +[->+ ++<]> +++++ +.--- ----. <+++[ ->--- <]>-- .<+++ +[->+ +++<] >+.<+ ++[-> ---<] >--.+ +++++ .-.<+ +++++ ++[-> ----- ---<] >---- ----- ----- .<+++ +++++ [->++ +++++ +<]>+ ++.<+ ++[-> +++<] >+++. --.++ +.+++ ++.-. <+++[ ->--- <]>-- .++++ +.--- ----. <++++ ++++[ ->--- ----- <]>-- ----- .<+++ +++++ [->++ +++++ +<]>+ +++++ ++.-- -.<++ +[->+ ++<]> ++++. <++++ +++++ [->-- ----- --<]> -.<++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ ++<]> +++++ +++++ +++.< +++[- >---< ]>--- .<+++ +[->+ +++<] >++.. <++++ +++++ [->-- ----- --<]> --.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++ +++<] >+++. --.<+ +++[- >++++ <]>++ ++.-- .<+++ [->-- -<]>- ----. <+++[ ->+++ <]>++ +++.< +++++ ++++[ ->--- ----- -<]>- -.<++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ ++<]> +.<++ +++++ +[->- ----- --<]> -.<++ +++++ ++[-> +++++ ++++< ]>++. +.<++ ++[-> ----< ]>--- .++.+ +++++ ++.<+ +++++ ++[-> ----- ---<] >---- ----- --.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++ +++<] >++++ +++++ +++++ +.+++ ++++. <++++ [->-- --<]> -.<++ +[->+ ++<]> ++++. <+++[ ->--- <]>-- -.+++ +++.+ ++.++ +++++ +.<
2427 posts
UK
Posted 16 October 2015 - 12:40 PM
some kind of encoding? what's the message?Spoiler
+++++ ++++[ ->+++ +++++ +<]>+ +++++ ++.<+ +++[- >++++ <]>++ ++++. +++++ +.--- .<+++ +++++ +[->- ----- ---<] >-.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++ +++<] >++++ +++++ ++++. ++.++ +++.< +++[- >---< ]>--- .---. <+++[ ->+++ <]>++ ++.<+ +++++ +++[- >---- ----- <]>-. <++++ ++++[ ->+++ +++++ <]>++ +++++ ++.<+ ++[-> +++<] >+.<+ +++++ +++[- >---- ----- <]>-- .<+++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ +++<] >++.- ---.< +++++ +++[- >---- ----< ]>--- ----- ----- --.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++ +++<] >++++ ++.-- ---.< ++++[ ->+++ +<]>+ ++.<+ +++++ +++[- >---- ----- <]>-- -.<++ +++++ ++[-> +++++ ++++< ]>+++ .<+++ [->-- -<]>- --.-- -.<++ +++++ +[->- ----- --<]> ----- .<+++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ +++<] >+.<+ ++[-> ---<] >---- .--.< ++++[ ->+++ +<]>+ +.--- .+.<+ ++[-> ---<] >-.<+ ++[-> +++<] >++++ .<+++ +[->- ---<] >-.<+ +++++ ++[-> ----- ---<] >---- -.<++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ ++<]> +++++ +.<++ +[->+ ++<]> +++++ +.--- ----. <+++[ ->--- <]>-- .<+++ +[->+ +++<] >+.<+ ++[-> ---<] >--.+ +++++ .-.<+ +++++ ++[-> ----- ---<] >---- ----- ----- .<+++ +++++ [->++ +++++ +<]>+ ++.<+ ++[-> +++<] >+++. --.++ +.+++ ++.-. <+++[ ->--- <]>-- .++++ +.--- ----. <++++ ++++[ ->--- ----- <]>-- ----- .<+++ +++++ [->++ +++++ +<]>+ +++++ ++.-- -.<++ +[->+ ++<]> ++++. <++++ +++++ [->-- ----- --<]> -.<++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ ++<]> +++++ +++++ +++.< +++[- >---< ]>--- .<+++ +[->+ +++<] >++.. <++++ +++++ [->-- ----- --<]> --.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++ +++<] >+++. --.<+ +++[- >++++ <]>++ ++.-- .<+++ [->-- -<]>- ----. <+++[ ->+++ <]>++ +++.< +++++ ++++[ ->--- ----- -<]>- -.<++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ ++<]> +.<++ +++++ +[->- ----- --<]> -.<++ +++++ ++[-> +++++ ++++< ]>++. +.<++ ++[-> ----< ]>--- .++.+ +++++ ++.<+ +++++ ++[-> ----- ---<] >---- ----- --.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++ +++<] >++++ +++++ +++++ +.+++ ++++. <++++ [->-- --<]> -.<++ +[->+ ++<]> ++++. <+++[ ->--- <]>-- -.+++ +++.+ ++.++ +++++ +.<
Edited on 16 October 2015 - 10:40 AM
1583 posts
Germany
Posted 16 October 2015 - 01:49 PM
some kind of encoding? what's the message?Spoiler
+++++ ++++[ ->+++ +++++ +<]>+ +++++ ++.<+ +++[- >++++ <]>++ ++++. +++++ +.--- .<+++ +++++ +[->- ----- ---<] >-.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++ +++<] >++++ +++++ ++++. ++.++ +++.< +++[- >---< ]>--- .---. <+++[ ->+++ <]>++ ++.<+ +++++ +++[- >---- ----- <]>-. <++++ ++++[ ->+++ +++++ <]>++ +++++ ++.<+ ++[-> +++<] >+.<+ +++++ +++[- >---- ----- <]>-- .<+++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ +++<] >++.- ---.< +++++ +++[- >---- ----< ]>--- ----- ----- --.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++ +++<] >++++ ++.-- ---.< ++++[ ->+++ +<]>+ ++.<+ +++++ +++[- >---- ----- <]>-- -.<++ +++++ ++[-> +++++ ++++< ]>+++ .<+++ [->-- -<]>- --.-- -.<++ +++++ +[->- ----- --<]> ----- .<+++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ +++<] >+.<+ ++[-> ---<] >---- .--.< ++++[ ->+++ +<]>+ +.--- .+.<+ ++[-> ---<] >-.<+ ++[-> +++<] >++++ .<+++ +[->- ---<] >-.<+ +++++ ++[-> ----- ---<] >---- -.<++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ ++<]> +++++ +.<++ +[->+ ++<]> +++++ +.--- ----. <+++[ ->--- <]>-- .<+++ +[->+ +++<] >+.<+ ++[-> ---<] >--.+ +++++ .-.<+ +++++ ++[-> ----- ---<] >---- ----- ----- .<+++ +++++ [->++ +++++ +<]>+ ++.<+ ++[-> +++<] >+++. --.++ +.+++ ++.-. <+++[ ->--- <]>-- .++++ +.--- ----. <++++ ++++[ ->--- ----- <]>-- ----- .<+++ +++++ [->++ +++++ +<]>+ +++++ ++.-- -.<++ +[->+ ++<]> ++++. <++++ +++++ [->-- ----- --<]> -.<++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ ++<]> +++++ +++++ +++.< +++[- >---< ]>--- .<+++ +[->+ +++<] >++.. <++++ +++++ [->-- ----- --<]> --.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++ +++<] >+++. --.<+ +++[- >++++ <]>++ ++.-- .<+++ [->-- -<]>- ----. <+++[ ->+++ <]>++ +++.< +++++ ++++[ ->--- ----- -<]>- -.<++ +++++ +[->+ +++++ ++<]> +.<++ +++++ +[->- ----- --<]> -.<++ +++++ ++[-> +++++ ++++< ]>++. +.<++ ++[-> ----< ]>--- .++.+ +++++ ++.<+ +++++ ++[-> ----- ---<] >---- ----- --.<+ +++++ ++[-> +++++ +++<] >++++ +++++ +++++ +.+++ ++++. <++++ [->-- --<]> -.<++ +[->+ ++<]> ++++. <+++[ ->--- <]>-- -.+++ +++.+ ++.++ +++++ +.<
It's simple brainfuck (esolang). You just have to execute it :D/>
149 posts
The dark depths of the web
Posted 16 October 2015 - 02:46 PM
It's simple brainfuck (esolang). You just have to execute it :D/>
I knew someone would figure it out. ;)/> That's why I didn't link to a decoder.
But for those who want one, here you go.
1583 posts
Germany
Posted 16 October 2015 - 05:35 PM
Here is (another) IMO nice example for an esolang :D/>
If you don't know how to get the hidden message inside…
Spoiler
Gr34t l33tN3$$?
M3h...
iT 41n't s0 7rIckY.
l33t sP33k is U8er keWl 4nD eA5y wehn u 7hink 1t tHr0uGh.
1f u w4nn4be UB3R-l33t u d3f1n1t3lY w4nt in 0n a b4d4sS h4xX0r1ng s1tE!!! ;p
w4r3Z c0ll3cT10n2 r 7eh l3Et3r!
Qu4k3 cL4nS r 7eh bE5t tH1ng 1n teh 3nTIr3 w0rlD!!!
g4m3s wh3r3 u g3t to 5h00t ppl r 70tAl1_y w1cK1d!!
I'M teh fr4GM4stEr aN I'lL t0t41_1Ly wIpE teh phr34k1ng fL00r ***j3d1 5tYlE*** wItH y0uR h1dE!!!! L0L0L0L!
t3lEphR4gG1nG l4m3rs wit mY m8tes r34lLy k1kK$ A$$
l33t hAxX0r$ CrE4t3 u8er- k3wL 5tUff lIkE n34t pR0gR4mm1nG lAnguidGe$...
s0m3tIm3$ teh l4nGu4gES l00k jUst l1k3 rE41_ 0neS 7o mAkE ppl Th1nk th3y'r3 ju$t n0rMal lEE7 5pEEk but th3y're 5ecRetLy c0dE!!!!
n080DY unDer5tAnD$ l33t SpEaK 4p4rT fr0m j3d1!!!!!
50mE kId 0n A me$$4gEb04rD m1ghT 8E a r0xX0r1nG hAxX0r wH0 w4nT2 t0 bR34k 5tuFf, 0r mAyb3 ju5t sh0w 7eh wAy5 l33t ppl cAn 8E m0re lIkE y0d4!!! hE i5 teh u8ER!!!!
1t m1ght 8E 5omE v1rus 0r a Pl4ySt4tI0n ch34t c0dE.
1t 3v3n MiTe jUs7 s4y "H3LL0 W0RLD!!!" u ju5t cAn'T gu3s5.
tH3r3's n3v3r anY p0iNt l00KiNg sC3pT1c4l c0s th4t, be1_1Ev3 iT 0r n0t, 1s whAt th1s 1s!!!!!
5uxX0r5!!!L0L0L0L0L!!!!!!!
If you don't know how to get the hidden message inside…
Spoiler
Here is an interpreter (for CC) I wrote some time ago.
149 posts
The dark depths of the web
Posted 20 October 2015 - 12:31 AM
I don't like these computer jokes…………
….not one bit.
….not one bit.
212 posts
Somewhere in this dimension... I think.
Posted 20 October 2015 - 03:13 AM
It is nice to have a word or double in. Though people have to register to post their jokes. Thankfully the process isn't extended.
1715 posts
ACDC Town
Posted 07 December 2017 - 06:49 PM
I didn't get any sleep so I got halted when I failed to yield.
477 posts
Germany
Posted 07 December 2017 - 07:50 PM
Some of these are shamelessly copied from this reddit post
Knock, knock
Race condition
Who's there?
I once saw a UDP packet dispenser.
It had a sign on it saying "out of order"
I've managed to get the last few pages of code used by russian nuclear missiles, it's written in LISP:
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Java and C++ are trying to figure out how they are going to get a women.
ANSI-C walks along and suggests: "You should stop treating them like objects."
ASCII silly question, get a silly ANSI
["hip","hip"]
(Say it out loudly)
What do you call a group of 8 hobbits?
Knock, knock
Race condition
Who's there?
I once saw a UDP packet dispenser.
It had a sign on it saying "out of order"
I've managed to get the last few pages of code used by russian nuclear missiles, it's written in LISP:
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Java and C++ are trying to figure out how they are going to get a women.
ANSI-C walks along and suggests: "You should stop treating them like objects."
function getDiceRoll()
return 2 --I just rolled a dice so this is guranteed to be random.
end
ASCII silly question, get a silly ANSI
["hip","hip"]
(Say it out loudly)
to == "be" or to ~= "be"
What do you call a group of 8 hobbits?
Spoiler
HobbyteEdited on 07 December 2017 - 06:58 PM
1426 posts
Does anyone put something serious here?
Posted 07 December 2017 - 07:51 PM
I realise it's a joke, but if you've got that much nesting in your code you're doing something wrong. I think the most closing parens we have in the Urn compiler is 14.I've managed to get the last few pages of code used by russian nuclear missiles, it's written in LISP:
477 posts
Germany
Posted 07 December 2017 - 08:00 PM
Does Urn control the flight path of nuclear missiles? ;)/> :P/>I realise it's a joke, but if you've got that much nesting in your code you're doing something wrong. I think the most closing parens we have in the Urn compiler is 14.I've managed to get the last few pages of code used by russian nuclear missiles, it's written in LISP:
2427 posts
UK
Posted 07 December 2017 - 08:45 PM
Knock Knock.
Who's There?
DOS Attack.
DOS Attack Wh-
Knock Knock
Knock Knock
Knock Knock
Knock Knock
Knock Knock
I know a Token Ring joke but it's not my turn yet.
Also from Reddit
Who's There?
DOS Attack.
DOS Attack Wh-
Knock Knock
Knock Knock
Knock Knock
Knock Knock
Knock Knock
I know a Token Ring joke but it's not my turn yet.
Also from Reddit
4 posts
Posted 16 January 2018 - 04:27 PM
A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. "House," in French, is feminine - "la maison." "Pencil," in French, is masculine - "le crayon."
One puzzled student asked, "What gender is the computer?" The teacher did not know. So for fun she split the class into two groups and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.
The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:
No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval.
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
They have a lot of data but they are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE THE PROBLEM.
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
One puzzled student asked, "What gender is the computer?" The teacher did not know. So for fun she split the class into two groups and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.
The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:
No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval.
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
They have a lot of data but they are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE THE PROBLEM.
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
Edited on 03 February 2018 - 11:37 PM
1715 posts
ACDC Town
Posted 07 February 2018 - 01:03 PM
I heard someone complaining about managing all the versions of their project, so I told them "git gud"
477 posts
Germany
Posted 13 February 2018 - 09:26 AM
1715 posts
ACDC Town
Posted 13 February 2018 - 12:47 PM
And so the annual cat race begins. Cat 5 has a solid start, but Cat 6 just zips by! Poor ol' Arjay collided into another cat, he's outta the race.
EDIT IN 2020: I can't believe how bad this joke is
EDIT IN 2020: I can't believe how bad this joke is
Edited on 14 March 2020 - 08:02 PM