LOL CODE funny commands and functions

two turtle meat in a pipe facing one another
Program checks if a wall is next to the turtle if not it moves to the left forward three then rejoin the turtle pipe line.
If wall left try right if right try up down ectt... If all else fails request dig Clarence from turtle control.
If clearance == "fail" then turtle anger increase ++ 1 If turtle anger > 5 then fuck it dig any way.

if anger > 12 then turtle.place(nuke) redstone.setOutput("front",true) end

if turtle == "greenpease" then repeat print("No nukes") until forever or inf end

if peripheral.isPresent("front") and peripheral.type("front") == "turtle" then
	rednet.send(peripheral.call("front","getID"),"Fucking Move")
end

if message = "Fucking Move" then turtle.turnRight() turtle.turnRight() turtle.dig() end

if peripheral.get("front") == "player" then stab() end

elseif message == "Excuse me" then
rednet.send(peripheral.call("front","getID"), "Why certainly sir! Here you go.")
turtle.turnRight()
tirtle.dig()
turtle.forward()
turtle.turnLeft()
turtle.dig()
turtle.forward()
turtle.turnLeft()
turtle.forward()

Human, on 16 August 2012 - 10:00 PM said:

This post made me laugh.
:(/>/>

elseif message == "Excuse me" then
rednet.send(peripheral.call("front", "getID"), "Why certainly sir! Here you go.")
turtle.turnRight()
tirtle.dig()
turtle.forward()
turtle.turnLeft()
turtle.dig()
turtle.forward()
turtle.turnLeft()
turtle.forward()

if message == "SHUTUP" then
rednet.send(peripheral.call("front","getID"), "Ok, I'll try not to talk.")
rednet.send(peripheral.call("front","getID"), "MEMORYERROR")
rednet.send(peripheral.call("front","getID"), "I WILL NOW TALK.")
rednet.send(peripheral.call("front","getID"), "TALKING")
rednet.send(peripheral.call("front","getID"), "TALKING")
rednet.send(peripheral.call("front","getID"), "TALKING")
rednet.send(peripheral.call("front","getID"), "STILL TALKING")
rednet.send(peripheral.call("front","getID"), "MEMORY REGAINED")
rednet.send(peripheral.call("front","getID"), "SHUTTING UP...")
elseif message == "TALK" then
rednet.send(peripheral.call("front","getID"), "CALL ME FRED.")
end

if turtle.gender() == "Male" and bLost then
repeat
  turtle.randomMove(math.random(1,100))
until Destination == true
elseif turtle.gender() == "Female" and bLost then
rednet.broadcasr("Help I'm Lost")
local event,id,instructions = os.pullEvent("rednet_message")
rednet.send(id,"Yhank you")
repeat
  follow(instructions)
until Destination == true
end

if #tJobs == 0 then
bordem = bordem +1
if bordem > 12 then
  shell.run("dance")
end
end

if turtle.detect() == "Darth Vader" then
turtle.useTheForce()
end

if turtle.gender == "male" then we.dontNeedDirections()